Back in the Saddle

My new nemesis.  The machine, not the girl.  I don't even know her.

But I know she's not doing it right, because she's smiling.  FALSE ADVERTISING!

I'm in a Biggest Loser contest at work.  And I plan to win!

So, tonight I had a buffet.  BUFFET OF CARDIO, that is!!

I started with 10 minutes on the elliptical.  It made my lower back hurt REALLY BAD! So I moved to 5 minutes on the stationary bike - and felt like my calves were going to cramp up the whole time.  So I finished with 5 minutes (0.5 miles) on the treadmill (yes, running!) and my calves felt the same way there (except for those final seconds when I made it go really fast - then I was too busy trying not to die to worry about exploding calves).

I thought the elliptical would be fun.  At first, it was - kinda bouncy and stuff.  But then that lower back pain set in, and got worse and worse.  Of course, the searing pain in my lower back DID take my mind off the discomfort in my quads and hamstrings... Anyway, they need to call it the ecraptical instead.

But, I kept my heart rate up at about 150 the whole time.  20 minutes of cardio is a good start.

I will win this thing!  (My goal is to drop 25 lbs and 5.3% of my body fat in the next 12 weeks.  This may require periods of starvation...)

Photos Found

Apparently, someone posted some photos on Facebook of all the runners about to cross the finish line in that Thanksgiving Day run I did.  So, here are the ones of me and my running buddy, Ryan:

 Here, I am not actually running, I am balancing on my one tippy toe.  Hey, that's hard work!

Near-death experience: here, I am clearly gasping for breath to save my very life.

The last ten feet of my running career.  Turkey, here I come!

If - and only if - I have lost 25 pounds by next Thanksgiving, I may, perhaps, MAYBE, might consider doing this madness again.  ONLY if I lose that weight.  Because I hate running.

Impulse

No, that's not me...I haven't been fitted for mine yet.

My name is Michael, and I've been clean and sober from running for 51 days.  Until today.

But I have a good excuse.

Actually, it's all Griff Neilson's fault.  He posted on Facebook something about it being a good idea to get 5-10 minutes of cardio in before you start a weight training workout.  (Personally, I think this is just junk that trainers make up because deep down inside they hate us flabby people.)  But I trust Griff's judgment, and he's one of the nicest guys I know (despite all this "health and fitness" silliness), so tonight before my workout I thought "well, I guess I'll get on the stationary bike" - but then, on a crazy impulse, I walked over and got on my old nemesis the treadmill.

And ran.

I know, NUTS, huh?

But I figured I could handle 5 minutes, since the first five minutes never bothered me much anyway.

Of course, about 3 minutes in, I already had a stitch in my ribs, but I completed the 5 minutes, covering an even half mile.

Of course, I still hate running.  But I may actually do it again.  I'm crazy like that, I guess.

29:55

Crossing the finish line (YES, that's me - on the right)

That's my official 5k run rime!

I DID IT!

It was crazy-hard, because of all the HILLS!  Hills, hills, hills!  The HILLS are alive . . . with the sound of huffing and puffing!  Oh, man.  I was NOT prepared for the hills.  At all.

My QUADS are killing me... and my nose won't stop running and sneezing!

A big thanks to Ryan, who kept me on pace and encouraged me all the way.  I do not think I could have done it without his support.

The winner of the "Guess My Time" Sweepstakes is: me.  Since I was shooting for 30 minutes and was only 5 seconds off, and nobody else chose to hazard a guess.  Guess I get to read one of my own e-books.  (That's okay, I like 'em.)

After the race, some people were talking about "next time."  Nope.  I am not convinced.  Cycling for me, from here on out.  (There may be future posts here about that...stay tuned...)

I am just REALLY glad I met my goal (which was, by the way, over six and a half minutes better than last year).

And . . . really, really glad it's over!

Because even now, after 12 weeks of training....I still really hate running.

I'm ready for turkey now!  HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

 One very happy FORMER runner...

Tomorrow is the BIG DAY

What will be my time?  Enter to win!

Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I will do RUN #32 - and FINAL.  I've been training now for over 12 weeks (it actually went by amazingly fast, despite the continual torture).

My shape has changed over this time - slimmer waist, fewer chins, firmer all over - but no real weight loss to speak of.  My Santa belly has shrunk some.  Muscles are stronger, endurance is way up.

I am as ready as I'll ever be for this.

My goal, as you may recall, is under 30 minutes.

In the comments section of this blog post, post your guess for my final time (in minutes and seconds).  The person to guess the closest (you can go over - no "Price is Right" rules) will receive a free e-book from my collection.  There are currently nine books to choose from (there will be a tenth in a couple of weeks).  Feel free to peruse them now...

So, good luck to me, and good luck to you!

FULL POST-RACE REPORT WILL BE PROVIDED TOMORROW...

Run #31: The Fast Mile

 I . . . am . . . SPEED.  (No, that's not me - I'm not quite so tan.)

Got to the gym very late tonight.  Started out tired.  (Also, ate too much dinner & dessert.)

Also, had plans to do my Day Two workout and then clean the gym (all the other non-vacuuming stuff, which I did do afterward - but I did not work out - was too tired and sore). 

So, I wasn't sure what would happen. 

I got on the treadmill and ran as fast as I could.  After a half mile I wanted to stop.  Really.  But I ended up riding the speed all over the place, and finally completed the mile in 8:10.  That is simply the fastest I could do it.  I really wanted to do it in 8:00, but that will just never happen.  It was really hard!

Oh well, at least it's better than the 15:30 mile I ran about three years ago with the Scouts.  That was the best I could do back then (I was much fatter).  So, yeah, I don't feel so bad.

But I do wonder how things are going to go on Thursday morning.  I'm kind of nervous.

Wish me luck!

Run #30: Half-hearted

Almost there...

Saturday morning I ran again.  I did a half-5k, because my heart wasn't in it, and because I wanted to reserve some energy for vacuuming the gym afterwards.

My time was 14:29, which, doubled to a 5k, is under 29 minutes (but we all know it doesn't work that way).  If it did work that way, I could just multiply it out and say that I could run a marathon in four hours.  Or run across the country in under three weeks.  Ridiculous.  I will never run further than 5k, and I'll be lucky to do it in under 30 minutes on Thanksgiving.

So, tonight (Monday) I will run a mile as fast as I can, and do my Day Two workout.  Upon the wise advice of my friend (and run-day companion) Ryan, I will take it easy and not work out or run on Tuesday or Wednesday.  I will eat a pasta meal Wednesday night, get a full eight hours of sleep that night, arrive early and stretch, and then go for it!

I am just DAYS away from never running again!  Woo hoo!

Tonight I will return here to report on how fast I ran the mile...then you'll hear back from me on Thanksgiving, with race results and reveling.