No, this is not me (I wear more clothes). But this is how I feel.
I cannot express, in a mere blog post of a couple hundred words, how much I absolutely hated that last run.
It was so truly horrible.
I ran 2.0 miles in 19:22, maintaining 6.2 mph the whole way. I chose that speed because that's the rate at which I will need to run the 5k on Thanksgiving morning if I want to complete it in under 30 minutes, which is my goal.
WAS my goal.
There is NO WAY I will be able to do that. I must have been crazy.
Tonight, halfway through, I just wanted to stop running and let myself slide back and crash down onto the treadmill on my face and let the thing abrade my cheek endlessly. That would've been preferable. At 1.25 miles, I just wanted to cry. At 1.4 miles, I started to hallucinate; the little leg pad on the weight bench ahead of me started to look like a face - an old bald bearded guy with a long, long face. Very weird.
At 1.7 miles EVERY part of me HURT. Not just lungs, back, shoulders and neck, but my LEGS were DYING! This was SO miserable.
I really don't even know how I ever did that 5k last year - with no practice. I don't know how I'm going to do it this year. Certainly not in under 30 minutes. There's just no way I can keep up that pace for that long.
A week ago Sunday, a friend told me she's been running for a long time, and she still hates it. She's smart. (And not terribly encouraging.)
Why have I chosen this insane path for myself?
Oh. My. GOSH! I hate running!!
Okay, you can make that 5k goal...just think 'muscle memory' I LOVE the sentiment of your blog...running has long been a form of torture for me too, BUT I just completed my first 5k in 36m22s with only 6 weeks of dedicated training...you will run so much better once in the race, seriously...YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's okay to curse anyone who every thought running was a fun sport or neat way to get fit during mins 1-15, but then you hit your stride.
I'm like your friend, I will never love running, but there's something empowering about doing it...
You are NOT insane :)
Don't underestimate the effect running outside can have. I HATE running on a treadmill too. But I love to run outdoors and it seems so much shorter when I have different things to look at besides the weight bench bearded man. :) Don't give up!
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