Run #13: I Just Don't Believe It

 I feel his pain. I once had a bad haircut, too.

Let me start with a confession: it's been a bad week.

I canceled Monday's run - I don't remember why now, but I know I had a really good reason.  I think I was just too tired.  Of course, last night I did lift weights.  Tonight, I didn't even get out of the house until after 11:00pm, so I decided to abbreviate the run.

But, I still set a pretty ambitious goal: maintain 6.2 mph for a full 20 minutes.  And I did it.

Why 6.2?  Because that's the rate I will need to maintain in order to meet my goal of doing the 5k in 30 minutes.

Well, after tonight's run, I simply cannot IMAGINE maintaining that pace for an additional ten minutes!  It was so, so unpleasant.

And since I set the treadmill to stop at 20 minutes, what was my surprise when instead of mercifully stopping at 20 minutes, it went into "cool down" mode, forcing me into a brisk 4.5 mph walk that slowed by 0.5 mph per minute for 5 minutes.

So, all told, I was on that treadmill for 25 minutes and went 2.36 miles (401 cal burned).

At one mile in, I started to get a pain under my ribs on the right side - you know, the Angry Klingon attempting to perform a little amateur surgery.  Then a little while later, his buddy, Angry Klingon II jumps up on my shoulder and starts digging in.

And I'll tell you what - this would probably be a tad easier if I wasn't carrying around so much weight - but I've been running and lifting for A MONTH now, and have not lost a single pound.  Sure, my waist is a little smaller, and my shoulders a little broader, but I still have a Santa Gut and weigh the same old 220.

So, what don't I believe?  All these friends of mine who tell me that after a while I will really start to like running and become "addicted."  Yeah, uh huh.  And maybe I'll become addicted to sticking toothpicks in my pupils repeatedly.

Speaking of eyes, I really need to get me one of those fancy John McEnroe headband things, because despite my eyebrows getting thicker as I age, they (hopefully!) will never be bushy enough to prevent all that sweat from dripping off my forehead into my eyes.  (If they were, they'd look like some kind of crazy hair dam.)  So, it's time to bring back a little taste of the 70s!  (I use the term "taste" loosely.)

Anyway, I have a new strategy for this whole thing.  Instead of running 3.1 miles and trying to reduce my time to 30 minutes from 31:55 by increasing my speed, I am going to try to run 6.2 mph every time and increase my running time by one or two minutes each week, until I am at 30 minutes (and hence, 3.1 miles).

Gotta try some new way of tricking myself into accomplishing this stupid goal.

Because, as you know, I hate running.